starting over

Starting Over Now

How to get through hard experiences.

Each one of us has had an experience where they never thought they would see the light of day. This could be a divorce, especially when you are sensitive much like myself, or hospital stays for surgeries or a loss of a job. This could also relate to griefing the loss of someone close to you. As tough and challenging as they are, it is through these experiences we are trasformed into the human being that we will become.

It can be very difficult sometimes. The darkness seems to swirl in and eat at your very soul. This is okay. Know that you can handle this challenge even as hard as it is to go through. One step that you can go through is writing down exactly what you learned from the experience. In my divorce I learned how to communicate better because I wasn’t communicating with my partner which is one major reason the divorce happened. You cannot answer for the other person but finding answers within your own mind for your own sanity is important.

Let us use another example and say you lost someone you loved. Write down some great lessons that the person taught you. Also while you are writing think of reasons that you loved the person. What amazed you about them? Share these stories with other people. Hang on the memories, no one can ever thake them away from you.

By sharing with the right groups of people or just people in general you are opening up. This allows us to find companionship and love in places we never knew. Even opening up to strangers can yield great experiences in life. If you feel you have no one to talk to please feel free to find a group in your area that will provide safety and are open-minded enough to listen. You can do this through Meetups, Craigslist or various other online resources. There are grief groups, places for divorced men and women and people out there that are professionals that will also listen.

Now what?

Next it is time to program your mind to go in the right direction.

Where have you been?

Why are you here?

Where are you going?

These are three questions that you must answer.

Where have you been,” is a question that will tell you why you are in the situation you are in. People sometimes can’t control where their parents moved them to but as an adult we have great choices. These choices are endless. If you are in a situation you do not like it is time to change my friends. It is time to prepare for your future.

Why are you here,” allows you to open your mind to new possibilities. Get out there and find out what you love doing. When you discover your strengths and utilize your strengths nothing will stop you from becoming the better person you want to be. One caution here. People will tell you to be a realist or tell you that it is impossible to do something. Never listen to the naysayers. It is time to find a new group of people.

You want to open a business, go hang out with people who open businesses. You want to have a great relationship go find people who have great relationships and hang out with them. Want to write a book go hang out with people who write. Do you think there are people out there that are doing what you want to do? Almost every subject in humanity is being worked on right in this moment. Take advantage of this day and age by choosing to find those people who have what you have and go do that. Success leaves clues.

Where are you going,” is the final question that I suggest you answer. When you travel you have a destination in mind. After you have this in mind it is easy to figure out how you are going to get to the place. You have a choice to travel by plane, boat or road. You have a choice on which route you take. Do not ever worry about the how you will get to a place as it doesn’t really matter. The journey and the plans are all that matter. Figure out where you want to go and then your mind will start giving your ideas that will help you to reach that destination.

Some people I have talked to feel stuck. They won’t or can’t leave family members behind. If you are in a dangerous situation with these family members it is up to you to help them get on the right path. If they still don’t listen get yourself out of the bad situation. Then when you have secured yourself go get that family because you will then be able to show them a new path. Never let anyone stop you from going out and getting what you need in life including safety even from those that love you most.

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